Cover Reveal: GOOD LIEUTENANT, the 6th (and, alas, final) Jersey Girl Legal Mystery

 

Coming in December 2024!

The Oscars are coming... hoorah?

 I have to begin by saying that I love the Academy Awards... until they're on. It's a time to see absolutely everyone involved in the movie business in one room (do they have to leave one star out, like when the president delivers the State of the Union address?) and say snarky things from the comfort of one's couch. In my family, the tradition is that everyone can choose a decadent dessert on that night and try to see how long it will last. Usually we don't make it past Best Supporting Actor.

Each year I attempt - and almost always fail - to see all the films nominated for Best Picture, so I'll know whether I'm thrilled or annoyed when something wins. My family and I also go each year to see the nominated short films, usually both animated and live action. We do not go to a screening of the documentary short films because their idea of "short" and ours do not agree.

The show also always runs far too long, with enormous stretches of boredom in the middle, to the point that they have to rush through the big-ticket awards at the end as if they were afterthoughts.

Nonetheless, I love the show. But this year, I'm less enthusiastic than usual. I've seen seven of the 10 movies nominated for Best Picture, and there is no clear favorite in my mind. I'd be fine with either of two films and largely annoyed if anything else wins, although my level of bile will probably be lower than usual. 

To begin with the short films, this year we saw only the animated shorts in the theater, due to scheduling. (It's harder than it used to be because my daughter lives an hour away and my son lives two hours away.) Of the ones we saw, three were depressing enough to disqualify themselves in my mind. I don't need help being sad. "Our Uniform," the offering from Iran, is the least tearjerking of the bunch, which should tell you something, and my choice would probably be "Ninety-Five Senses," a look at a man awaiting his last meal on death row. Yes. Others were more depressing than that. The one that'll probably win is "Pachyderme" from France, and it's disturbing as hell. Well done? My daughter and I had to explain to my wife, who is a very intelligent woman, why it was disturbing after we left. ("War Is Over" is very simplistic but has the benefit of a John & Yoko song in it, which makes it more watchable than most.) "Letter to a Pig," well, it seemed quite upsetting. I fell asleep in the middle and woke up at the upsetting part, so I'm a little confused.

We saw three of the five live-action shorts, so I can't offer much, but if I was voting, "Knight of Fortune," a Danish very dark comedy (ish) would get the vote. "The After" wins for absolutely the most horrifying but ultimately flat of the bunch.

I've only seen one of the documentary shorts, so I'll pass on commenting. 

As for the feature films nominated for Best:

1. Oppenheimer: The one that will win going away. The most celebrated, hyped, praised and talked-about of the lot. I found it irritating and generally dull, a three-hour movie that should have been two hours at the most, about a guy who's unknowable doing things that are hard to understand and having no thoughts about the consequences of his work until it's far too late. With a musical score that often drowns out the mumbled dialogue and NEVER stops playing. I'm not a member of the Nolan cult, so I'm not enthusiastic about all the Oscars it will undoubtedly get.

2. Killers of the Flower Moon: So you thought "Oppenheimer" was long? Martin Scorsese has made a movie in which nobody ever says anything once, there are plenty of people shot in the head and yes, it has a legitimate point to make, which it rams into the ground over and over again. Were the Osage people treated horribly, murdered and ignored about the murders? They were indeed. Did the movie need to be three-and-a-half-hours long? No. Yeah, it looks great, but it's repetitive and its characters are all either remarkably evil or remarkably stupid and sometimes both.

3. Barbie: It's a very nice, cute little movie with a little bit to say about how women are treated in society. It's not the Barbie movie you would expect, and give Greta Gerwig (who wasn't nominated for directing, thus making the movie's point for it) credit for that. Is it the best picture of the year? Depends on your point of view. I found it enjoyable with a second half that drags some.

4. American Fiction: If I'm being honest, probably my choice for Best Picture. A Black author deals with the expectations the publishing business has for him and with his family, which I'm sure you'll be shocked is dysfunctional. It's well-written, beautifully acted and it knows when to quit, which many of the others do not. It's even funny.

5. The Holdovers: My second choice. Paul Giamatti, Da'Vine Joy Randolph and Dominic Sessa deliver masterful performances in the story of a cranky boarding school teacher, the only student whose parents don't come for him at Christmas break, and the woman in charge of the kitchen at the school. Touching, sometimes funny, and well told. I wouldn't be sorry if it won, which it won't.

6. Past Lives: Clearly I missed something. This story of two Korean people who have a flirtation as children and then separate when the girl moves to America with her family has been praised to the heavens but I found it dull, and the characters bland and unlikable. It's obviously my fault and not the film's, but I didn't care whether they got back together or not. People have been known to weep at the end. I didn't.

7. Anatomy of a Fall: A German woman in Switzerland is accused of murdering her husband by pushing him off a balcony. I get that the movie wants not to be obvious about her guilt or innocence and that the people are meant to be real and not "good" or "bad," but it left me cold. Well constructed but in my case, anyway, unaffecting. 

The other three - Maestro, Poor Things and The Zone of Interest - I have not seen and don't intend to. So maybe they're amazing. You'll have to find out for yourself. (In fact, you should find out for yourself no matter what I said above; how do I know our tastes are similar?)

So I think it'll be a pretty dull show. But maybe the desserts will be good.

Why I Write the Books I Write

 Truly, the reason I write what I write is the same reason most writers do what they do: Nobody else is writing the book I want to read. So I'll fill the gap myself.

I'll tell you what I DON'T want to read: 

* Anything that will make me sad;

* Anything that will turn my stomach with unnecessarily detailed violence;

* Anything so cozy that if you're not wrapped in a shawl and drinking tea you might as well not bother; 

*Anything that assumes a person who works at the flower shop, the craft store, the bakery or the local cheese shop is better at solving crimes than detectives;

* Anything that centers on a sleuth so cynical and damaged he (inevitably) should be under psychiatric care;

* Anything "shattering," "gut-wrenching," "devastating" or "deeply disturbing." I'm not looking for that.

This is not to say that YOU shouldn't want to read any of those books. If that fulfills your needs, you should run toward it. It's just not going to make it for me. Life is short, and I don't have that kind of time.

So I write books that I think have interesting characters but add a decent amount of laughs. I write plots that might not hold water all the time, but should keep you turning pages. I think about how to show new sides of my characters perhaps more than what the most innovative way to dispatch some non-entity to get the plot going might be. 

I like to laugh. I like to follow interesting, nuanced characters. I hope to write a mystery that's as good as TED LASSO. I'd also like to read such a book (doesn't have to be a mystery).

If you know of something I'd probably enjoy reading, please don't hold back. I'd genuinely like to know.

Cover Reveal: Fran & Ken Stein #2!

Coming in May, 2024!