Rules For Living

1. Respect others until they don't respect you.
2. Try and see the other person's side, but not at the expense of your principles.
3. Look for what's funny.
4. Eat less; move around more. (Borrowed from Craig Ferguson)
5. Stop worrying about your dignity. It's overrated.
6. Write (if you write) what you want to read.
7. Treat your children--if you have any--like people, because that's what they are.
8. Treat other people's children like they are other people's children.
9. Cereal is good. Eat cereal. 
10. If you're angry, be angry. But try to take some action that will help you to not be angry.
11. Never read the newspaper on an empty stomach.
12. Read the newspaper. The internet only gives you the news you ask for. TV news isn't news.
13. Listen to music. Use headphones when you can.
14. Take in comedy. Listen, watch, create, but do something with comedy. 
15. Avoid any movie whose ads say it's "shattering." Who wants to be shattered?
16. Listen to scientists. If it's about science.
17. Respect good teachers. Most teachers are good.
18. Do your laundry at least every 10 days.
19. Be open to new experiences as long as they don't involve risking your life.
20. Don't engage in a political argument. No one has ever changed anyone else's mind.
21. Get a pet or don't get a pet. You know what kind of person you are.
22. Introduce people to things you love but don't force your views on them.
23. Never dismiss any medium or genre until you've experienced it.
24. Respect artists. They are walking on a tightrope naked with Vaseline on their soles.
25. Pay attention to punctuation and spelling. You look like a dope when you don't.
26. Vent your frustrations; don't let them build. Find an outlet. A non-violent outlet.
27. Some people are in fact idiots. But they're still people.
28. Don't live each day like it's your last. You'll be flat broke tomorrow.
29. Reading isn't inherently better than TV, movies or theater. All should be enjoyed.
30. If you're not funny, don't pretend to be. If you're not serious, pretending is possible.
31. Eat what you want. If you'd like to lose weight, eat less of it.
32. Never toast a fresh bagel. You can toast a day-old bagel.
33. Look up from your phone once in a while. 
34. Don't ever impose your religious beliefs on anyone else no matter what they are.
35. Quote Bullwinkle as often as possible.